Relax. Relate. Release: A Guide to Relationship Security

Those were the words my professor would tell us before he gave us an exam that he knew would be tough. I’d think to myself “now you know FULL and damn well this test is probably gonna kill us all… why even say those words to us?”

It makes sense.

Life moves on and it’s important that we take a moment to relax.

It’ll all be fine. Put things into perspective and see it from all angles; relate. Anxiety bears negative vibes so release is just as important. That resonated with me after I’d failed like two exams.

But hey, such is life. I appreciate him for the words he gave to us. Now, on to the subject at hand: RELATIONSHIPS

Per my past blog posts, you guys pretty much know how my last relationship ended… rocky as hell. Life has definitely been moving at a steady pace. I often wondered if my last relationship would leave me tainted; reluctant to love again but, (per my new love interest) it hasn’t. Instead, I’ve used those very instances to be a guide or become a blueprint rather for what I won’t settle for. I’m no stranger to a face full of tears, deranged emotions, crunching chest pain, sleepless nights, loss of appetite and utter confusion. Definitely not a stranger to the feelings of insecurity. It’s a quite hurtful experience to feel as though the one you love so much can’t be trusted.

1. Relationships are built on trust.

If there is no trust, there’s nothing. It’s so important that if you decide to carry on a healthy relationship that there is transparency.

2. You deserve to feel secure.

Insecurity in a from either party in a relationship is for the birds. If you can’t be comfortable with your partner or always feel some type of way about other people imposing on your relationship… then maybe that ain’t the one for you. A healthy relationship feels secure. No questions about it. It’s solid. Every attractive person that looks, talks or breathes in your partners direction doesn’t crave sexual attention from them nor does that mean your partner wants that person.

3. A healthy relationship is an understanding relationship.

It aggravates me to see someone be so overprotective over a person because they’re insecure. Granted, I know how that can be (as I went through it) but if it feels like you need to keep tabs on your partner then let it go.

Nothing should disturb your peace of mind. VOW TO PROTECT YOUR PEACE. Your sanity is most important. It’s so easy to be so clouded by the illusion of love that it makes us crazy. Love is patient, kind and understanding. At any given time you and your partner have to be willing and able to keep all lines of communication open. A healthy relationship requires frequent, open communication. If you don’t feel comfortable enough to express yourself freely without it becoming an argument, they’re not the one for you.

4. Honesty goes a long way. If you and your significant other plan on being in it for the long haul, these are all great pointers to help you all along.

But first, I need you to do ONE thing:

Take care of YOURSELF first.

You can’t give a person security if you’re unsure of yourself.

You must build yourself up in every facet of life. Fall in love with the person you see in the mirror. Make better decisions and learn to trust yourself. Gain a better understanding of yourself; learn what you like, what you dislike. Know what things are an absolute NO- GO in a relationship with you. If that means you need to write it out in plain text e.g “I WILL NOT TOLERATE LYING. I WILL NOT TOLERATE DISRESPECT. I WILL NOT TOLERATE FOUL LANGUAGE etc.”

Do what you must to make sure you are loved in the capacity that you deserve to be loved.

Relax. Relate. Release.

Patience is key.

One love ❤️

(2017)