SMIA

SMIA: Your new favorite acronym.

Coined by none other than Brittni Ocean herself (me)

I’m sure you’re probably wondering what S-M-I-A stands for, and if you guessed ‘She’s Missing In Action’, you’re vaguely correct.

Social Media Insecurity Anxiety is defined as An experience one encounters as a result of cyberthreats imposed by another social media user that causes them to feel uneasy, anxious, and insecure as it pertains to their relationships and self-image.

A part of your sanity is definitely missing in action.

I know the definition is A LOT to take in but, it is far more common than you would think. The Information Age has been driven by recent advances in technology in which social media has been a catalyst in its growth and development over the last ten years. A decade is definitely enough time for a generation to grow within a certain generational experience. I recently crossed the threshold of being “somewhere in my twenties” (as I often tell strangers) and my personal experiences on social media have been more on the evolving end rather than the well-refined era.

My afternoons as a middle and high schooler were shaped around 106 & Park and updating my MySpace page to have falling stars all while Tynisha Keli’s ‘I Wish You Loved Me’ played in the background. I even had my AOL and Yahoo! chat rooms popping while I occasionally talked to some guy from Natchez, Mississippi on UrbanChat. All of the juiciest tea was spilled in Word Up magazine and Soulja Boy was the reason why Youtube.com ever came across my search bar— the Crank Dat epidemic may have had Covid19 beat! Gossip came after 7 pm when minutes on my flip phone became free or else, I had to risk my mom clicking on the house phone to summon me to the dinner table. Receiving a compliment on an outfit at a party was worth more than a “like” on Facebook. Things were much slower then, and we grew with social media from its inception. I remember when Facebook was only for college students and they opened it up to the public. I can also recall making my very first post on “this new app called Instagram” as I told my friends.

Though it feels as if not much time has gone by, it has.

What we have now is a collective group of individuals who readily have access to platforms that shape their reality. For them, social media is a utopian playground. These young adults use social media to become who they desire to be seen as. They are shown images of people, places, and things that influence their decision-making and behavioral expressions. Impressionable minds are more susceptible to the symptoms of Social Media Insecurity Anxiety.

Now I don’t knock social media in the least bit, as I have amassed well over ten thousand followers across all of my accounts however, I do have my quarrels with it. It’s good for what it's good for… if you know what I mean.

Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook have all become breeding grounds for neural susceptibility.

Some struggle with defining what is real and tangible over what is essentially ‘make believe’ (as they’re attempting to make people believe in what they’re posting).

In a relationship? Gotta post it or it's not real.

Feeling confident? Gotta post it or you’re fake.

Taking a risk? Gotta tell your followers what you’re doing OR it doesn’t count.

Lines have been blurred and habitually crossed; as people will say things under comment sections and direct messages that they would never utter if they were in someone's face.

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Young women and men have particularly fallen victim to the perils of social media. As if growing through the stages of puberty wasn’t (bad) enough, many social media platforms openly display body types that seem favorable to the impressionable mind. My generation experienced this as well with video vixens and magazine cover models but, we were more in touch with our immediate realities over the ones we electively sought.

I believe that there has been a collective shift in brain/thought patterns and the way we perceive ourselves and the world that surrounds us. Some of our experiences have been lived and others, are merely a thought yet, we give energy to an intangible reality.

Does that mean social media isn't real? Not necessarily but, there are better things that we should be placing our energy and intention into.

I’ve been there before. After going through multiple incidents with one of my exes (girls reaching out to me via DMs, stalking my IG stories, harassing me in comments, calling my phone, and sending text messages) it caused me to be hyper-alert on any social media platform. I would log into my Twitter account, anxious to see if another woman has sent a message expressing her concern and disdain over his ain’t-shit ass.

I also found that I would purposely avoid opening or responding to messages completely for the sake of avoiding that feeling of emptiness, embarrassment, and pain. That's not a good way to live.

It is proven that trauma elicits responses that are supposed to protect us from encountering an experience that led to the trauma response, to begin with. Fight or flight but, our bodies were not designed to be in a constant state of anxiousness or worry.

“Due to the instability of unhealthy relationships (events happening on or over social media), the individual begins to associate their personal distrust and unresolved feelings with that of social media platforms” Twitter user @santoxocosmos says and I could not agree more.

The male gaze has an interesting effect on heteronormative relationships as women will fix themselves to garner their attention, selfishly so.

The last time I checked, nearly every able-bodied human has a functional set of eyes with the exception of those who fall under the blind spectrum. With that being said, both men and women are naturally going to look at what they feel is attractive.

A gaze is harmless, right?

We knew back then that the chances of our boyfriend actually getting a chance to talk to a girl after he clipped her poster out of a magazine would be slim to none but, what happens now in new-age relationships where most anyone is reachable via social media? Though it’s still a far fetch, young adults recognize the power that a direct message holds. It’s instant accessibility.

People feel threatened by what they feel exerts power over them. In some instances, people create fake accounts to feel bigger or more liked by peers. Social media as a whole is huge and vast-- filled with people and personalities that vary from coast to coast.

We all may know someone... a friend or homie that may have experienced SMIA.

Here's how to identify some symptoms:

Symptoms of Social Media Insecurity Anxiety include (but are not limited to):

1. Cyberlurking- The act of actively searching for a particular social media user that one feels has posed an immediate threat to themselves or their relationship and monitoring their posts for notable changes that would inflict a drama response

2. Hyperresponsiveness- Once a threat has been perceived, the individual is on alert to respond to anything that further pushes that narrative

3. Loss of Confidence

4. Imaginative Thinking

5. Avoiding Opening Messages

6. A constant state of worry
   

Don’t come for me because I know how you girls like to tussle but, sometimes YOU are the common denominator to your problems.

Identify what triggers you so that you can heal from it and not put yourself in similar predicaments.

I've decided to give a few practical tips on how to overcome the feelings of SMIA.

How to combat feelings of Insecurity and Anxiety on social media:

1. Take a breather. Step away from social media and choose to live in your reality. Take the time to build relationships with those you’re in a relationship with, starting with yourself.

2. Follow new people. If you’re fooling someone that makes you feel/think less of yourself, unfollow them.

3. Talk about it. Vocally address what bothers you to a trusted person. You don’t have to experience this alone

4. Don’t compete or Compare. Your experiences, body, and thoughts are unique to you.

It's never THAT big of a deal. Work on building interpersonal communication skills so that your experience on social media is an extension of your reality rather than a completely new experience. It was designed to connect us. Utilize social skills that enhance your relations with strangers both in person and on the net. Everyone is not a threat to you. Most of the problems you have can be easily communicated through using compassion, understanding, and rationality.

Have you or someone you know experienced SMIA? Drop a comment below!

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Meet the Author

Hello,

I am Brittni Ocean, social media influencer, writer, and creative director amongst other talents.

I began blogging as a way to express myself as I matriculate through this thing called 'life'. It is my hope that my writings inspire people to think outside of conditioned thoughts. Challenge your mind to see alternative perspectives and realities.

Social media platforms provide spaces for conversations to be discussed and shared amongst our personal friends and peer groups. I hope that SMIA will be a topic carried on for generations to come.

Learn more about me here: voyagehouston.com/interview/rising-stars-meet-brittni-lee-of-houston-texas/

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I run a small business selling organic mosquito repellent, crewnecks, and a Spiritual Cleanse. Click the image below to support. I appreciate the love!

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